OldNotebook

I awoke Disorientated Two identical mornings Disappointed I wasn’t here, nor there A coin flipped Is he or is he not? He is not Snap decisions Permeating the air Smoke coils, ashes fall Stripped of pride I can easily forget Tenderness, like rain Evaporating and pooling Simultaneously The footprints I left behind Should be dyed a shimmering gold Just as the sunset, just as the streetlights A warm autumn embrace Scattering my thoughts Across the night sky Set them ablaze And they will become stars Drenched in moonlight All expressions swept away Flickering red and blue An emergency someplace, but not here Nor there

Howling into the wind, through the wind My thoughts to you flutter and ascend Shivering and rattling My bones, hollow and broken My dreams, heavy and dull Let me speak to you once more, just once more Laughing and howling into the wind, becoming the wind My thoughts, illuminated, fluttering to you Softly and silently My body, tattered and cold My heart, fallen in love Let me come closer even still, just be still I could sleep here but the wind will surely howl through the night Picking up every color, fluttering into the sky Feminine and pink My cheeks, burning and flushed My feet, kicked towards the moon A smoky lavender lullaby, was stolen from my lips Perhaps it was just an empty sigh, swept away by the wind I have so many doubts, wavering, and fluttering Fearful and cowardly My hands, skeletal and empty My fingertips, impressed upon your skin There is still no evidence, no proof, nothing for me Will the wind laugh at these tears?  Will they be torn away? The ivory gates cracked

Out of ink, I carved into the page Illegible letters, sunken into the paper I can’t understand the braille turned inside out Screaming desperately to be read I dreamed, kaleidoscopic A stained-glass masterpiece The dust that drifted through the sunbeams Had settled on the pane Irresistible to my finger-tips I wrote something dear to me

Walls of reverb Whispered, sighing vocals Drenched in resonance What is this song? I knew it, long ago Dream sounds muffled in consciousness Layered, distorted, warm, and intense I wavered, surprised but unafraid All thoughts were drowned out, if only for a while My fervent wish was granted after all It's not a white void that fills my heart Layered, distorted, warm and intense I knew it, long ago What I protected, the lies I kept The ringing in my ears when all sound fades away Doubts creep in, quietly as the sunsets Crying myself to sleep, quietly as moonbeams fall What was that song? The second I remembered it slipped through my fingers Sleepwalking towards a vague dream Walls of reverb Whispered sighing vocals Hypnotized by kind phrases, open to suggestion When I awaken where will I be? One wish was granted, but what will become of this dream?

A delicate dream, glistening like glass Staining the light yellow-green It's not beautiful, but it's warm Shining behind my eyes Just as naturally as breathing You appeared, more serene than before More realistic, more alive More human than I Pulling me away, for a little while Just as naturally as breathing Ambient chartreuse, a fragile dream Glowing in memory You appeared, more serene than before More thoughtful, more restrained More mature than I This pleasant afterglow will gradually dissipate Opening my eyes, the spell will shatter These feelings you conjured, glistening like glass Pulling me away, for a little while Stained yellow-green, the last light of summer Beautiful and warm Shining through the trees Just as naturally as breathing Someday, I'll be more serene than before

Ghostly hands, carved and weathered Skeletal remains, pure and white A whisper so gentile and secret No finger prints, no evidence Delighted, and impudent I found something radiant here Roots, gnarled and tangled Growing timidly within My heart still exists Behind these ivory piano keys Torn apart and held together Innocently holding onto any sustenance The terror of everyday Magically diminished I dreamed of another life While rooted in place I can barely breathe At the smothering climax As the wishes and wants Gather in my chest The frustration of helplessness A desire for happiness Not for me, but someone else Take these bones, take these roots Let me vanish Let me be a whisper upon your lips A memory mistaken as a dream No finger prints, no evidence

Your smile, engraved into my mind We were there, one shade of night The stars and planets all unaligned Still I hoped, I wished that we might- ...have a closeness of some kind  Drawing near, knowing it wasn't right What did we learn?  What did we find? Something was lost in the morning light Eventually, all dreams were left behind There was no conflict, there was no fight There was no reason for the tears I cried Who was wrong? Who was right? Your smile, engraved into my mind Sitting here, one color past midnight Our constellations will never align